Serein Brontide

Good Day my fellow humans !

Good morning to those reading this in the morning,

Good afternoon to those reading this in the afternoon,

Good evening and good night to those who reading this after sunset,

and finally,

Good day to the people who will never come across these letters, those fellow humans who will never know what is written here. I cannot fathom the many lives that continue to exist everyday, I do not play any part in theirs and nor do they in mine, but the concept remains mysterious, beautiful.

Yesterday I came across a quote by Mary Oliver :

Sometimes in late summer I won’t touch anything, not
the flowers, not the blackberries
brimming in the thickets; I won’t drink
from the pond; I won’t name the birds or the trees;
I won’t whisper my own name.

One morning
the fox came down the hill, glittering and confident,
and didn’t see me—and I thought:

so this is the world.
I’m not in it.
It is beautiful.

— Mary Oliver , “October”

I have always been interested in the lives of strangers, my gaze sometimes on the windows that I come across while I walk my dog: the people need not be there, just the way the clothes are hanging outside on the wires makes me wonder about their lives : are they happy ? Do sorrows infiltrate their busy days ? And what makes them smile ? The combined simplicity and complexity with which we carry out our lives is amazing.

I wish to know more about the human mind, the way our minds our conditioned. After all , a woman struggling to give her children food will not be worried if her grey hair is showing.

Perspective changes everything,

the world will exist, a melange of emotions for the humans

and for the many living beings

it will always be their home.

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Warm Mornings

I started playing the piano as soon as I woke up today. My skill had depleted definitely but it felt wonderful when my fingers touched the keys. The last time I played was about a year ago. After some time, when I couldn’t get a certain part in the piece ( I’m practising La La Land’s City Of Stars by the way ) I let it be. I didn’t carry on playing until I perfected it , I let go of the pressure to be perfect and just played the way I play until it (my playing) gets better on its own by practice.

I think I learnt something today.

It’s been a long time

It’s been a long time since I posted here but that does not mean I didn’t read the articles my fellow writers posted. Well, one excuse I have for not writing regularly is my college and second, the lack of motivation to publish it online. I have been writing: just that nobody has seen what I’ve written (yet.) Well, I’ve decided that I shall write more often here for my previous articles seem to be in a style completely different from what my diaries are written in. This platform will chronicle my evolution into what I become perfectly.

Another world

Escaping into our laptops, our phones is so convenient. I am not on many social media sites (just one actually) and even that makes me feel so confined sometimes. I feel as if the worth of my writings, the worth of my pictures, the worth of anything I say depends wholly on the viewer. Which is untrue of course, but somehow never really settles in the mind. I am actively trying to escape this net of lies, this fake image we portray to show off, to prove that we are happy, never realising that if we truly are, we would have no need to prove it.

Because the stars

Because the stars aren’t in the sky anymore

Yesterday I was coming back to my house after visiting my best friend .During the flight, I realised that because of our activities, we humans have made some of the most beautiful objects in the sky vanish.

Stars continue to disappear as lights blink down in our heavenly hell.

Nostalgia

I dislike even talking about it . The memories that I have worked hard to forget. The ones that make all my dreams a nightmare.

I don’t mind, it’s better to wake up relieved post a nightmare. After a nice dream however, I wake up sad , knowing the things that I long for can never happen .

Friends

Usually I used to be the only one in my peer group who did not watch American Television shows such as Friends, Modern Family, etc etc . I was never ridiculed for it but somehow, I always felt that I was missing out on something. Recently I started watching theses shows and even though I find them mildly amusing, I now understand that I never really missed out on much.

These shows (and not just American ones ) establish a sense of comfort over people. When we watch them, we feel comforted, satiated that we are not alone . And however different these people may be from us (or maybe not ), a sense of belonging in one’s own life is evoked . These shows are something we can come back to, a constant in our not so stable lives. But I find no reason to gush about the characters and repeat their lines. I do not mean to demean these shows, even I feel the same mixture of vague happiness and comfort when I watch them, but I feel that this manipulation of our minds by our own self is something we should be aware of . The manipulation to pretend to enjoy something just because we feel that we should.

Starry Night

To share your grief with others is a gift that I do not possess. Instead it is at night when I find myself with the company of stars that I really start to unwind.

My trembling eyes pour out the truth while I smile, looking up at the great beauty above me, surrounded by sorrow .

Rue The Day

“She has good instincts, but wrong judgments. She’ll rue the day.”

David O Selznick

I wonder whether regretting is an entirely human emotion ? Do animals regret the decisions that they have made in the past ? Do insects ? We pretend to know the answer and say “no” to these questions , but who are we to answer for other beings . Yes, I agree there is a high chance that these beings don’t feel the varied emotions that humans do, but I am not saying this with a 100% certainty. Neither do the scientists. It is the media , the audience who breakdowns the possibilities into certainties. And we’ll rue the day soon.

Serein Brontide

It took a long time trying to figure out the name for my URL address. After all, I wouldn’t be able to change it just when I pleased. It would have to relate to my moods, my life and my mind.

After a lot of pondering I decided that serein brontide was the perfect paradox .

Serein (when I searched on google ) refers to rain falling from a cloudless sky. This sort of rain is said to take on the form of a “fine, light drizzle, typically after dusk.” This was perfect, it described the rain I liked best, with the clichéd mug of coffee in my hands along with one of Jhumpa Lahiri’s books. My despondent mood with a touch of buoyancy.

Brontide however, signified something more real – the rumbling song of distant thunder. This too was one of my moods, one in which I appeared most often .

Combing these words did not entirely encompass my moods but it did weave a thread around my light .This blog would be my outlet .

An outlet when I was elated-calm-thunderous-blah blah blah. I cannot pretend to name my moods for I don’t understand them either, but here I write trying to make you do the same .